Eleven Years: Lesson #9 – Tears are Cleansing.

Eleven Years: Lesson #9 – Tears are Cleansing.

Lesson #9:  Tears are cleansing.

Two months before Dustin and I were to be married, we went to the beach with my family.  And whilst at the beach, we went to the movies with my mom (my mom loves a good movie) and saw the feature film, “Finding Nemo.”


Spoiler Alert:  Nemo’s mother died in the first five minutes. Maybe in the first 30 seconds of the movie.

Which is one of the easiest ways to turn on my tear faucet.

Then I begin to understand that this fish is a special needs fish (gimp fin) and I became a basket case.

I have always had a big heart for the underdog.

And then I watch as he suffers and struggles to find his dad and all I wanted was justice for my little striped friend.

Just let him find his dad!  HE NEEDS HIS DADDY!!!

And praise the Lord for Dory because if it had not been for her comic relief, I would have done the ugly cry for the duration of “Finding Nemo.”

Let’s just say that by the time the movie ended, I was sobbing so loudly that I am pretty sure that Dustin was reconsidering his engagement to this emotional wreck.

I remember leaving the movie theatre unconsolable and going into the crowded bathroom and having to use a crisp paper towel to blow my nose.

As I exited the theatre, I was still sniffling with red eyes and I remember someone asking me what movie I had seen.

Through tears I began to sob again, “Fi-inding Nee-moooo!”
And I cried most of the way back to our condo.  With Dustin sitting up front with mom and asking me what was wrong and mom just telling him to give me a few minutes.

When I finally got my tears under control, I explained to him that seeing the struggle and the heartache (that I perceived) just broke me.  I do not like for anyone to have a struggle.  I don’t like for anyone’s mother to die.  Or father.  Or anyone!

Basically, I have always dreamt of a bubble that me and all my people could live in safely and live happily ever after.

Don’t worry – there have been plenty of events that have popped my “bubble.”

I was so encouraged by the words of Granger E. Westberg, “Emotion is essential to a persona and to try to repress it is to make one less than a person.”

Granger also says, “To bottle it up unnecessarily is to do ourselves harm.  We ought to express the grief we feel.  Some will be too embarrassed to grieve openly; they can go off by themselves and let their grief take its natural course in any of a variety of ways.”

When you have tears to cry, let them flow.

When you have frustrations to vent, let them vent.

“Grieve not as those who have not hope…” 1 Thessalonians 4:13

And Westberg adds, “but for goodness’ sake, grieve when you have something worth grieving about!”



3 thoughts on “Eleven Years: Lesson #9 – Tears are Cleansing.

  1. Hello,

    Please accept my apologies, as a comment to your blog post is probably not the best place to ask this.

    In July of 2015, our Son Sullivan was stillborn at 32 weeks due to multiple cord accidents. My wife came across your book and wished to give it to our living children as a Christmas present from Sullivan. I can order on Amazon, however, I get an expected delivery anywhere between December 18 and January 4th of next year. This makes it difficult to give as a Christmas gift. I started the process to order directly from your website, however there is no information on duration for shipping.

    Is there any way to ensure delivery on the 18th?

    Thanks – and again, sorry for contacting you as a response to your blog post. I have included my contact information in the form.


    1. Where do you live? We just had a winter storm here in NC (22 inches) and are still digging out. I could probably mail out tomorrow via media mail. Where do you live? If I’m a neighboring state it usually takes 4-5 days


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