Lesson #8: Grief is real, grief is hard, grief is good.
I took several spiritual gift tests when I was a younger version of myself. And I would always score relatively closely on four of the five gifts.
But there was one gift that I barely scored any points on. Every single time.
Oh sweet mercy.
My younger self would look at a problem and then just shrug my shoulders and say unsympathetic things like:
- “God will work it for His good.”
- “Get over it.”
- “God’s plans are awesome. Trust Him.”
- “No need for tears.”
- “Buck up.”
Basically, I was everything you would want in a Christian counselor.
I thank the Lord for my personal pain and suffering because if nothing else, it has caused my gift of mercy to increase (or to actually show up).
Through the hours, days, weeks and years since Daniel’s short life, I have experienced grief like I never knew it before.
And I can relate and give so much more mercy than my younger self ever could. Oh my word. I am so grateful for understanding grief.
Grief is hard. It will wear you out even if all you do is barely get out of bed each day. It can make you feel like you cannot put one foot in front of the other
Grief is real. The feelings that you experience after a loss are so extremely real. And hard. And difficult. And amazingly undesirable.
Grief is good.
As hard as it is to experience a loss on this earth, I am convinced that God absolutely can use it for His good as it promises in Romans.
Would I have chosen grief? No way.
Would I have chosen heartache? Nope.
Would I have chosen to bury my son on a snowy day? Not on a snowy day or a sunny one.
But because I have been able to turn my eyes to the Lord and tell Him of my heartache and my grief and hurt, He has been able to help me through my sadness.
He has taken what was broken and has healed me.
Now there are still scars that will always tell the story of what God has been doing in my life, but praise the Lord that He has walked with me on this journey and it is my prayer that by sharing where I have been and where I am now, He may be glorified.
And that if you find yourself in the midst of grief now, you will turn your eyes to the Lord who can heal your brokenness, who wants to heal your broken heart, who loves you and never leaves you.
And if I could offer you counsel, I would remind you that God will use your story if you will turn to Him and offer it all to Him for His glory.
“And we know that for those who love God all thing work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28