Each year when the birthday of a baby in heaven occurs, many parents do special things to remember their loved one. I have a friend who donates books to our local library that are age appropriate for the age her daughter would have been. One friend has a walk to remember her daughter on that day. Many friends aren’t sure how to remember their child and instead, remember with sadness that day when their baby was born.
I’ll be honest – it has been one of the hardest things for me to do. For many years, I did not look forward to the month of January and its remembrances for me.
Some years we have had a special family dinner with our extended families, but I have always struggled with this: do we have a birthday cake? If so, who blows out the candle? When the girls were younger they wanted to celebrate Daniel’s birthday just like they would celebrate their own, but the cake was a bit too much for me.
One year we had a time of sharing what we were thankful for. Then we sang hymns together…out of hymn books. How cool does that make us that we have more than one hymnal in our home? Ha! If we could do that every year, it would make my heart so happy! It is so true that a thankful/grateful heart gives joy and life to our spirits.
“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22
Some years, I have gotten a letter in the mail that a family member had donated money in Daniel’s memory – and that just blessed me so much! They didn’t forget his birthday!!!
The thing I have learned over the years is that I will never forget my son’s birthday, but how will I remember him on that day? For me, I like to do something on his birthday because I am grateful to God for his life, no matter how short it was.
So I am going to share another opportunity that you can keep in the back (or front) of you mind: you could donate an “I Have a Brother – My Brother is in Heaven” book (or books) in memory of your baby in heaven for your child’s birthday/Christmas, or give these books in memory of a friend’s baby who is in heaven. They can be donated to a local NICU, funeral home, Christian Radio Station (ours will send books to folks who call in with prayer requests), or OB/GYN offices.
Here is why I want to share this opportunity:
Because the purpose of “I Have a Brother” is to encourage grieving families with the hope that can only come from Jesus Christ, my book is considered controversial and politically incorrect. While every hospital, funeral home, etc., that I have talked with has said they would love to carry this book and that its message is encouraging, none of these venues can purchase the book because of its controversial/religious message.
However, all of these locations have also said they would love to have copies of this book on hand to give to clients/patients who indicate that they are Christians.
Here’s the catch: the only way to have these books on hand is to have them donated.
When a family loses a baby or infant, I have seen that they either turn towards the Lord or away from Him regardless of what their relationship with Him before their loss. If we can help turn families toward the Lord and to see the hope of heaven, I pray that they will avoid much more heartache by distancing themselves from their Heavenly Father.
If you would like to donate books, check out the “Donate A Book” page and fill out the form at the bottom of the page. Then we can communicate by e-mail to make all the arrangements to get some of these books to a place where they can be shared with other families experience a baby loss.
And if you know a family who has experienced a loss, let them know that you remember their child’s birthday. It will mean more than you could ever know.
Even if you don’t choose to donate a book, I do hope that you will choose to remember those babies in heaven somehow on their birthday. Put a flower on his/her grave. Have a special dinner. Give money to a local organization in their memory. But never forget what the Lord has done in your life and how He has been faithful to you in the midst of your loss.
“The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.” Psalm 28:7