I have had a revelation. And I will be honest and say that I cannot believe myself.
Before I share my revelation, I must first tell you that early in our marriage I realized something, our house cannot have lots of big furniture. We must have smaller functional pieces.
And in my newlywed naivety, I purchased furniture without any measuring or thinking of how it would fit in our home.
And in my defense, it did not look so big in the store.
So when we found a table on Craigslist a few years ago, I was excited because we could fit five chairs around it without using the leaf to make it longer. So we have had a nice little round table with five chairs around it for as long as we can remember. When we have guests, I can get at least three more chairs (uncomfortably) around the little table. But in the back of my mind, I know there is the leaf downstairs if I need to make the table longer and more rectangular.
So last fall, I knew we were having a Worship Team meeting at our house and decided to make the round table a rectangle. No big deal.
And the rectangle worked beautifully for our meeting and the next morning the girls and I enjoyed the extra room as we worked on one of our favorite Christmas projects, homemade Christmas calendars.
I thought how nice it was to have this extra room on the table and wondered why I have not kept the table this size more often.
Then it came time for dinner. And as I set the table, I realized why I don’t like to have it so large all the time: Because of the empty sixth chair, the rectangular table shape reminds me of our loss.
And I laughed at myself for even thinking such a silly thought. But here I will confess that I don’t like having an empty chair.
It is silly and yet completely normal for me to have thoughts about what might have been. To think about what could have been. But I have to keep myself in check…
“What is true? Think about these things.”
It is true that I have three lovely little ladies and a wonderful husband and we all love the Lord and seek to serve Him daily.
That is what is true.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Ephesians 4:8