My goodness…has it really been almost five months since I last posted? I cannot believe that I let this much time pass without a post at all. Life has been full, but honestly, I have struggled with determining the direction of this blog. I am still working through all of that, but for now, let’s just reconnect.
Since my last blog post, we celebrated the tenth anniversary of the day our son was born and the day he died. TEN YEARS!
I remember wondering when we had just lost him if I would still hurt ten years later. Would it still matter that our son had not joined our family here on earth? Would I still cry about his short life?
The answer to these questions has been yes. And no. Let me explain.
Yes, it still hurts that our son is not part of our earthly family. Yes, I still cry at times when I think about his short life. Yes, I do still wonder what it would be like to have a little fellow amongst our little ladies.
And at the same time, these thoughts are no longer my focal point as they seemed to be for so many years.
In Granger Westberg’s book, “Good Grief”, he says that one of the last stages of grief is being able to accept your loss and to move forward. While there have been times when I know I took two steps forward and fifty steps backwards, I feel like I am moving forward these days. I have accepted the fact that we have a son in heaven and I am able to live my life.
I am thankful for the last ten years as I have grown so much through our son’s short life (and many other life events). And while I look forward to seeing him in heaven, I know that I have a life to live here on the earth. I want to live the life God has given me with all its ups and downs and to be a light for Him while I have breath.
If you have not read Westberg’s book, “Good Grief,” I highly recommend it for so many reasons. I re-read it a few weeks ago (you can read it in less than two hours) and it will be so helpful to you at whatever stage in life you are. Because as Granger says, “Grief is a natural part of human experience. We face minor grief almost daily in some situation or another.”
Grief is not just about death. Grief is a part of daily life. I will write more about my grief journey and how this book helped me soon…but for now, know that I muddled around in my grief journey for a long time not knowing where I was or if this was normal. I am thankful for Westberg’s brief book that has helped me to understand where I was and that it was normal.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 1 Corinthians 1:3-4