While scrambling eggs one morning, I overheard the following proclamations coming from the bathroom.
“Daddy has good hair. Ruthie has good hair. Julee has good hair. Izzie Lou has good hair. Molly Beagle has good hair. Mommy has good hair. Everyone has good hair but me!”
(Izzie Lou and Molly Beagle were two dogs we had at the time.)
Then the tears began to fall on my three-year old’s face.
She thought that her hair was not good.
At the age of three.
I stood there thinking….”Why does she even care? I have tried so hard to not emphasize beauty on the outside. I’ve been lenient about looks. I let the girls wear mismatched clothes out in public. And plastic high heel shoes to the local bagelry for breakfast. I’ve even been known to take a tiara or two out to lunch. Why does she care about beauty?”
LeeAnne saw in the mirror that morning what she was not. She could not see that she had the most beautiful big blue eyes and was the only one in our family with blond, curly hair.
LeeAnne could only see what she wasn’t instead of what she is.
I can’t get upset with her – I have the same problem.
After Daniel died, I remember thinking about how much I wanted to hold him in my arms. I wanted to his sister to be able to love on him. I wanted two car seats in my back seat. I wanted diapers to fill my shopping cart.
But that was not to be. At least not at that time in my life.
Daniel was not meant to live in my house or to be loved on by us here on earth. Years later, the Lord gave me two other daughters for whom I am most grateful. I had to buy pull-ups and diapers at the same time! I had to have three car seats in my car at one time. And I never complained about it! It was wonderful to have life in my home after such a tremendous loss.
But when I was walking the days and weeks after Daniel’s death, I could not see the future. I could not know for certain that I would ever have another healthy child. I saw other families having healthy babies. I saw families full of life and joy and I seemed to have none. I had allowed my joy to be taken from me by the loss I was enduring.
I am by no means saying you need to be full of joy and that you need to be happy with whatever God gives to you. Sometimes that is humanly impossible – we cannot do it in our own strength.
What I am saying is that when you find yourself uncertain of your circumstances and not thankful for what is going on in your life, take those concerns and frustrations to the Lord. Ask Him to take those burdens from you. Ask Him to show you how He is working.
Sometimes you may need to beg the Lord to show you how He is going to use your circumstances for good, but I promise you that He will never leave you and you can cling to Him during your difficult seasons of life.
And He will show you that your blond curly hair is beautiful – even if it is different from the others in your life. He will use all things for His glory if we trust in Him.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
“Cast your burdens on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” Psalm 55:22
“The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and bounding in steadfast love. The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.” Psalm 145:8-9