When my little lady with big eyes had her dream, I was overcome with emotion. Then fear crept in, what if?? What if she just made it all up? What if it wasn’t real? Could I trust my two and a half year old?
That’s a loaded question. Trust her with what? With her great-grandmother’s fine china…probably not. But trust her to tell the truth, yes. Those baby blues cannot tell a lie.
But there was a bigger question for me to answer: Was God trying to send comfort to me through the dream of a little girl? Could God do such a thing?
I hope we all read that last question and had a resounding answer like, “Of course, God could send you comfort through your child’s dream…God is God and He can do anything!”
When I was in the hospital after Daniel had been born, I remember telling the nurses and doctors that God was God and I trusted Him whether or not my son lived. And then my son died. And I had to live that proclamation out.
I will be the first to say that I did not live that out as nicely as I wish I could have, but I had no idea what it meant to grieve or mourn when I said those words. My heart had never been so broken.
Slowly over time, I was able to gain understanding as to what God had done and was doing through our loss. I could trust the Lord and not be afraid. God is still God and I could still trust Him.
And I do.
Now I understand that I will not always understand His answers or desire His answers, but I can trust Him wholeheartedly. And I hope that is what I am doing moment by moment, day by day.
“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
I have had this proverb in my heart since I was a wee little Daphne. Then one day a few years ago, I kept reading…
“Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.” Proverbs 3:7-8
At the time I was reading this, I had convinced myself that my body was failing. I may be alone in this, but I can start having a pain or an ailment and all of a sudden, I go there. I can convince myself that I am dying. And if I google it, I can confirm my suspicions.
I will stop right here and just praise the Lord that my husband will listen to my diagnoses and disprove them each and every time, though sometimes it would be nice for him to get on board my crazy train for just a minute or two…misery loves company.
So verses seven and eight of Proverb chapter 3 really just encouraged me to put my focus where I thought it had been…on the Lord. Let Him guide my each and every step and turn away from my doubt and my frustration…to turn away from me. Put my eyes on Him. And it will bring life to my bones.
So I decided to share this dream with others. For I found that it was a gift from the Lord. I would not be afraid of what people would say or if they would question the dream. If God gives us a gift, we must glorify Him with it.
For me, this dream was God’s gift of confirming in my heart that I have not lost my children who died before me, but rather I will see them one day in heaven. And for that I am grateful.