Why share the dream?

Why share the dream?

When my little lady with big eyes had her dream, I was overcome with emotion.  Then fear crept in, what if??  What if she just made it all up?  What if it wasn’t real?  Could I trust my two and a half year old?

That’s a loaded question.  Trust her with what?  With her great-grandmother’s fine china…probably not.  But trust her to tell the truth,  yes.  Those baby blues cannot tell a lie.

But there was a bigger question for me to answer:  Was God trying to send comfort to me through the dream of a little girl?  Could God do such a thing?

I hope we all read that last question and had a resounding answer like, “Of course, God could send you comfort through your child’s dream…God is God and He can do anything!”

When I was in the hospital after Daniel had been born, I remember telling the nurses and doctors that God was God and I trusted Him whether or not my son lived.  And then my son died.  And I had to live that proclamation out.
I will be the first to say that I did not live that out as nicely as I wish I could have, but I had no idea what it meant to grieve or mourn when I said those words.  My heart had never been so broken.
Slowly over time, I was able to gain understanding as to what God had done and was doing through our loss.  I could trust the Lord and not be afraid.  God is still God and I could still trust Him.

And I do.

Now I understand that I will not always understand His answers or desire His answers, but I can trust Him wholeheartedly.  And I hope that is what I am doing moment by moment, day by day.

“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”   Proverbs 3:5-6

I have had this proverb in my heart since I was a wee little Daphne. Then one day a few years ago, I kept reading…

“Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.”  Proverbs 3:7-8

At the time I was reading this, I had convinced myself that my body was failing.  I may be alone in this, but I can start having a pain or an ailment and all of a sudden, I go there.   I can convince myself that I am dying.  And if I google it, I can confirm my suspicions.

I will stop right here and just praise the Lord that my husband will listen to my diagnoses and disprove them each and every time, though sometimes it would be nice for him to get on board my crazy train for just a minute or two…misery loves company.

So verses seven and eight of Proverb chapter 3 really just encouraged me to put my focus where I thought it had been…on the Lord.  Let Him guide my each and every step and turn away from my doubt and my frustration…to turn away from me.  Put my eyes on Him.  And it will bring life to my bones.

So I decided to share this dream with others.  For I found that it was a gift from the Lord.  I would not be afraid of what people would say or if they would question the dream.  If God gives us a gift, we must glorify Him with it.

For me, this dream was God’s gift of confirming in my heart that I have not lost my children who died before me, but rather I will see them one day in heaven.  And for that I am grateful.


The Dream

The Dream

After talking with many mothers who have lost an infant, many have said that the child born right after their loss, has a special, strange connection to that deceased child.

I found that little tidbit to be very interesting, but could not imagine how it might pan out in our family.

Eighteen months after Daniel died, I gave birth to a baby girl with large eyes.  Bless her…she gets the large eyes honestly.  She is growing into them…

DSC01883

When Little Bo Peepers was between two and three years of age, she came to me one Sunday morning as I was getting everything and everybody ready for church (and I think our littlest lady was a baby) and told me matter of factly that she had had a dream.  I cannot remember her exact words, but they went something like this: Read more

Mr. Google

Mr. Google

The other day we were having a little lesson on the internet with our girls.  I explained to them that there is so much information on the internet that it is amazing…and sometimes a little creepy, but amazing, nonetheless.

So the girls wanted to google their own names and surprising, they had information about each of them.

I am still not sure how I feel about this.

So I joined in the party and googled my name.  I had several images pop up…the last of which was this:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Thank you very much, Mr. Google, but what you come up with is not exactly true.  Read more

Do Babies Go To Heaven If They Die?

Do Babies Go To Heaven If They Die?

I came across this article today and thought it was encouraging to those grieving the loss of a child – regardless of their age.  While I still read the scriptures about heaven and cannot decipher how it operates and everything about it (and I don’t think I am supposed to understand it completely on this side of heaven), I think this is a well-written article.  I do not know anything about the author of it, so I am not endorsing him/her necessarily, but good article to read nonetheless.

Do Babies Go To Heaven If They Die?

Music Shops, Martin Guitars and Pink Violins

Music Shops, Martin Guitars and Pink Violins

Friday my husband, the Music Man, had the day off so we did what every family does when the daddy is home….we headed to the local music shop.

Upon entering the music shop, our youngest daughter, produced from her pocket a peppermint which the Music Man unwrapped for her.  Happily she slipped away among the electric guitars with the strict order to NOT TOUCH ANYTHING!!!!

I took my place in a wooden chair in the acoustic instrument section while the Music Man tried out various instruments and the daughters asked if the pink violin would sound better than their plain, old, brown ones at home… Read more

The Book

The Book

Last year the Lord gave me a story.  Actually He gave it to me a few years ago.

And I pretty much responded to the Lord with, “What a novel idea!”  (Pun intended)

Fast forward to December 2014.   I had to have a little outpatient operation to remove a growth that was supposed to be non-cancerous, but “let’s just remove it to be sure.”

The book idea came back to mind and I made a deal with the Lord.
Let’s just press the pause button on the story for a brief second while I tell you, “It is not only bad idea to make deals with the Lord, but it is also wrong.  Just obey the Lord and trust Him.”  (And sing the hymn if it will help you remember…”Trust and obey, for there is no other way….”)

Unpause. 

So the deal was this, “If the growth is not cancerous, I will set about writing out the story you have given to me.”  Read more